7298. That’s how many words I written for NaNoWriMo. 7298. That’s the most words that I’ve written for any of the novels that I have planned on writing in the past. Heck, 1 was more words than I’ve ever written, but I digress. Now I feel stuck. I feel unmotivated and just plain frozen. I feel like I have written myself to a brick wall and I have no idea how to get over it, around it or under it. It’s just here tormenting me. What’s worse is that it’s not the blank page that is intimidating me, it the next paragraph.
That’s a lot of words for some people. For someone who is going for 50,000 it’s a drop in the bucket. I’m ready to give up. I’m always ready to give up. That’s something I do well. I just stop.
I need a new path. I new a new action.
If stopping in the middle is an action, I do that often. I stop working out. I stop a diet. I stop a new hobby. I can do that without blinking. I need a new way of doing things. I need to go.
This book is more than just a hobby or diet or exercise routine. This is my dream. It’s a desire that I’ve been harboring for years now. I’ve imagine becoming a writer for years and now I’m stepping out on that and the fear it pushing back. Hard. The fear is telling my I can’t do this. The fear is telling me it’s not worth it. The fear is telling me that I don’t have the talent/idea to finish this book. The fear is telling me to STOP.
I can’t do that with this thing. I can’t sabotage this goal. This goal is my life. I can’t let this dream die, without my dreams I am nothing. I can’t be nothing. I have to keep going even if at the end of 50,000 words I have nothing but crap. I’ll have one thing, I would have finished.
Well let me get back to it.
Have you ever quit anything? Are you currently pursuing your dreams? Have you faced any difficulties while pursuing you dream?